Wedding Dresses I Didn't Say Yes To (And Why)

This week was an exciting week for James and Jami. After weeks of deliberation between James, my best friend Nicole, my mom, and myself, I finally took the plunge on a wedding dress.

Now, I can already hear some of you asking… “umm, did I read that correctly?” Yes, you did. James was fully involved in my wedding dress shopping process from concept to purchase. I’ve always wanted it to be that way and he was adorably excited to help - it was a true team effort. I’ve just never thought it was fair for me to have a say in his outfit and him to be totally surprised by mine. Besides, I care deeply about his opinion - after all, he’s the one who has to look at me up at the altar. The choice isn’t right for everyone, but it was for me.

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With that little disclaimer out of the way, let’s talk dresses.

Like many other folks in my time, I went through the typical “Say Yes To The Dress” phase. There’s just something about special occasion wear that is inherently exciting to shop for and almost as exciting to shop vicariously through someone else for. So, I had a thought… since I did all of my dress shopping online (risky, I know, but we’re in a pandemic and I’m on a bit more of a time crunch than some), why not share some of my almosts for everyone to come along on the shopping journey with me.

Below are images of and the links to the gorgeous almost dresses that my tribe and I passed on for one reason or another. I loved them all, but in the end, we decided on a dress that PERFECTLY matches the vibe of the day and will be absolutely stunning next to James’ sexy AF outfit. Don’t worry, once our photos are finalized, I’ll share them here for everyone to enjoy!

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My Shopping Process

My shopping process was pretty all over the place if I’m honest. I went into this with ABSOLUTELY zero idea what I was looking for except for the idea that I wanted it to be very unconventional. As I said in my last post, James and I are aiming for unique and fun and nothing that even remotely feels typical for our big day.

I spent weeks searching random key terms after random key terms, bookmarking pages along the way. Until eventually, I’d sifted through hundreds of websites and had over 300 pages bookmarked for further review. Finally, me being me, I created a Google doc to compare to contrast all of my options and for James, Nicole, and my parents to sort through and pick their favorites. In the end, it was me who stumbled upon my perfect dress and everyone agreed that it is the perfect choice in every way.

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My Ticklist

While I had little clue where I’d end up, I did have quite a few requirements that my final selection ideally would fulfill including:

• I wanted it to be non-white or colorful, ideally;

• If I went with colorful, it needed to match the color scheme to the right (if you know why, you know why 😘);

• It needed to have long sleeves or the ability to add a sweater over the top because we’ll be in the mountains in the winter and I don’t want to completely freeze;

• I wanted a slit or high-low in the front, or for it to be tea-length, or completely sheer - basically it needed to have the ability to show off the pricy shoes I’d already purchased and wanted to make sure would easily be seen in the photos;

• It needed to match the winter-in-the-mountains-dark-informal-moody-grungy vibe that James and I are designing the entire day around;

• I wanted a dress that I could potentially wear again someday, rather than hang on a shelf for the rest of its life;

• And finally, it needed to feel like me. We took care to make sure that any dresses we considered had “Jami” energy, whatever that may be.

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My Short List

Now that you understand my thought process, let’s see some dresses, shall we?

Behold, my almost yeses and why they just didn’t make the cut.

The Thistle Dress - Etsy

I absolutely loved this dress. Being a huge fan of everything Scotland (where the thistle is the national flower), I couldn’t get enough of this dress. The boho energy and all the color were ALMOST too much to say no to, but in the end, something about the shape and the nude liner underneath just wasn’t the right fit (pun intended).

Needle & Thread Tulle Gown - Net-A-Porter

This gown is to-die-for. I love Needle & Thread - a British brand that never fails to impress. This one was super high on my list, but in the end, it was just a little too white and wedding dress-esque. I just needed a bit more… pizazz, you know?

The Lace Bodysuit & Chiffon Skirt Combo - Etsy

Ugh, this one was also a near-miss. I loved everything about this combo, apart from the fact that the skirt was just a little bit too simple. I was thinking about getting the underlayer made in purple or green, and I would have had to have a slit added to the skirt, but the extra effort to have that done made it a less-than-perfect choice. I just knew that despite how sexy I would have felt in the sheer bodysuit - which is #goals on your wedding day - there was a better choice out there somewhere.

The Black Needle & Thread Delphine Dress - Lyst

Dude, this dress is bitchin’. I felt the vibe of this dress to my core. I love the idea of a black wedding dress - talk about saying fuck you to tradition. I love the rainbow detailing and it would look killer with my shoes. This dress was my second choice; the only reason I won’t be wearing it at the wedding is that the one I chose is just a LITTLE BIT more epic, but this one is as close to perfect as can be.

The Boho Lace Dress - Queen Gowns

This dress made me so happy. I loved the pattern and it would have been a perfect match with the mountainous Washington aesthetic. I said no to this dress because I really wanted to buy my dress from a very trusted seller and not that the website I found it on isn’t, but I found images of this dress other places around the web and I just wasn’t sure who ACTUALLY created this exact dress and the day is too important to leave it to chance.

The Haute Couture Embroidered Gown - Etsy

OMFG I thought this gown was cool. I love the little bugs and suns and other fun details that are scattered around the dress. If I thought it wouldn’t have looked too much like a costume with James’ outfit, I would have given this one some SERIOUS thought.

The Marchesa Tiered Textured Gown - Verishop

I loved the idea of getting a designer dress, but since I went high-end for the shoes, that wasn’t as important this time around. This dress is gorgeous and I love the ombre effect, but I don’t love the shoulders - I know they’d drive me nuts all afternoon and for that reason, I had to say no to this beauty.

The Sparkly Sequin Deep V Dress - Rosedress

I’m a SUCKER for sparkles. I can’t help myself. This dress is stunning from shoulder to foot, but I was worried that I’d be all kinds of too cold in this lovely thing. Also, similarly to the one above, I don’t know a ton about the website I found it on and I just wanted to make smart choices on a purchase this big.

The Sheer Two-Piece Suit - Etsy

I love the idea of wearing pants to the wedding. It’s the ultimate unconventional gender-bend idea and I just think it would be so much fun to rock. I love this outfit - every single sequin on it, but my mom isn’t a fan… so, in the end, I had to say no. Thanks, Mom. 😩

The Cable Knit Jumper & Dip-Dyed Skirt Combo - Peruvian Connection & Etsy

I love this look and it actually broke my heart that I didn’t end up going with it in the end. But if I’m being completely transparent, this skirt was extremely pricy for a simple skirt and I looked everywhere for a more cost-effective alternative that had the same look and I just couldn’t find it. Gutted, but it all worked out for the best in the end.

The Vintage Iridescent Mermaid Wedding Dress - Etsy

This dress is rainbow, need I say more to explain why I loved it? There wasn’t any major reason for turning this one down except I thought it might be a bit too light and bright and definitely not warm enough for our gloomy outside day.

The BHLDN Sonya Sweater & Needle & Thread Florence Skirt - Anthropologie & Needle & Thread

Finally, for this combo, the problem was simply just the lack of color and Jami energy. It’s such a lovely little combination, but I felt like it didn’t really suit my personality and that was something that was very important to all of us involved - it is my wedding after all.

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Well, there you have it, my friends. The 12 outfits I nearly ended up wearing but said no to in the end. What do you think? I know they aren’t for everyone, but I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments below. After seeing these, do you have any guesses what I ended up choosing? I can’t wait to unveil my dress and show off every other choice James and I are making along the way!

I am a firm believer that your clothing says a lot about you as a person. If that’s true, I feel like you learned a lot about me in this post. How cool is that?

More wedding stuff to come everyone - watch this space. For now, thanks for coming along on this fun little part of my journey. I hope you all enjoyed my little SYTTD moment, I know I did. 🥰

Until next time!

xoxox

Write on!