Chat GPT writes some pretty unhinged things...

I just returned from a tech conference in Canada and as I’m sure you’d expect, the vast majority of the sessions were banging on and on about AI. Admittedly, before that conference, I couldn’t have cared less about it, but a few talks in and my interest was somewhat piqued. So back in the hotel, I pulled up ChatGPT and had a play around and after about two minutes, I was hooked.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be savvy enough to figure out ways to use technology like this to make my job or general life easier, but I will most-definitely be using it for the free entertainment.

I started off first asking for it to create algorithms, excel cheats, lines of code, and GIFS just to see what it was capable of. Now, please remember that I am, by no means, a techy person, so please don’t come for me about how there are better services out there or how much of a n00b I sound, okay? Other than it being a text-based AI and therefore only able to describe what GIF it would have created for me had it been able to, generally I was very impressed with the generation speed and outputs.

Then, I got a little more creative and started asking for it to create characters for Dungeons & Dragons, and an analysis of my and James’ zodiac sign compatibility, both of which were a pleasure to read - especially seeing how much detail it managed to spit out. Then, I asked it:

“Write a haiku about tartan”

…to which it replied:

Plaid weaves colors,

Tartan dances with the breeze,

Heritage adorns.

…which made my heart smile.

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And speaking of smiling hearts, sometime later I asked if my new AI friend could write me a short story based on the true story of my pet’s relationship with one another (though, I should note that you don’t need to worry about Bug, he doesn’t actually have a thyroid issue, he’s just overweight from his snacking problem, we just use that as his tongue-in-cheek excuse).

“Write a 250-word short story about a grumpy chinchilla named Moo Moo who hates his cage mate Bug the fat chinchilla with a thyroid problem.”

And ChatGPT wrote the most lovely little story with an absolutely essential message:

Once upon a time, in a small pet shop, there lived a grumpy chinchilla named Moo Moo. He had a sleek, silver coat and a permanent scowl etched on his face. Moo Moo despised his cage mate, Bug, a plump chinchilla with a thyroid problem.

Bug's round shape and constant snacking irritated Moo Moo to no end. Whenever Bug approached to share a snack or exchange pleasantries, Moo Moo would let out a gruff chitter and retreat to the farthest corner of their cage. He had no interest in indulging in idle chit-chat with a chinchilla who seemed to have no control over his voracious appetite.

However, one day, the pet shop owner decided to rearrange their living quarters. Bug's excessive weight had started affecting his health, and the owner wanted to help him slim down. The chinchillas were moved to a larger, multi-level cage, providing plenty of space for exercise.

To Moo Moo's surprise, Bug's condition seemed to improve. Bug began running up and down the ramps, playing with toys, and even nibbling on healthier treats. Moo Moo watched Bug's transformation with a mix of curiosity and disbelief.

Slowly but surely, Moo Moo's resentment toward Bug began to fade away. He realized that Bug's weight gain was not entirely his fault. It was a result of a medical condition. Deep down, Moo Moo understood the importance of empathy and compassion.

With time, the grumpy chinchilla and the formerly chubby chinchilla developed an unexpected friendship. Moo Moo learned to see beyond Bug's exterior and appreciate him for his unique personality. From then on, they would enjoy hopping around the cage, exploring their newfound freedom together.

In the end, Moo Moo discovered that sometimes, when you look past your prejudices, you can find a true friend in the most unlikely of places.

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Then, I thought it was time to see how in-touch ChatGPT is with pop culture, so I went the @beam_me_up_softboi route:

“Write a Tinder conversation with a douchey soft boy”

…and I laughed all the way through this painfully accurate exchange:

User: Hey there! I couldn't help but notice your artsy profile. You seem like a deep soul. 😏

Soft Boy: Oh, hey! Yeah, I guess you could say I'm an artist. I see beauty in everything, you know? I'm all about embracing my sensitive side. How about you?

User: That's cool. I appreciate art too, but I also have many other interests. So, what kind of art are you into?

Soft Boy: Well, I'm mostly into postmodern neo-expressionism mixed with a hint of avant-garde surrealism. I create thought-provoking pieces that challenge societal norms. It's pretty deep stuff.

User: That sounds intriguing. I enjoy exploring different art forms as well, but I also like to keep things light-hearted. Do you have any hobbies outside of art?

Soft Boy: Oh, definitely. I'm also a poetry connoisseur and a yoga enthusiast. I find solace in meditating under a willow tree while reciting my latest verses. It's all about connecting with my inner self, you know?

User: Wow, that's quite the image. I can appreciate mindfulness and self-reflection too, but I also like to stay active. Have you ever tried rock climbing or hiking?

Soft Boy: Oh, I used to be into all those adrenaline-fueled activities, but I find more fulfillment in the tranquility of nature. Besides, I'm a firm believer in leaving a minimal ecological footprint. It's all about living in harmony with Mother Earth.

User: I respect your dedication to nature. It's important to take care of our planet. So, tell me, what are you looking for on Tinder?

Soft Boy: Ah, the eternal quest for a kindred spirit. I'm seeking a muse who can appreciate my artistic soul and delve into the depths of intellectual conversations. I yearn for someone who can comprehend the complexities of my existence.

User: That sounds like a lot of pressure. I believe in genuine connections, shared interests, and simply enjoying each other's company. Life doesn't always have to be so deep, you know?

Soft Boy: Perhaps you haven't experienced the kind of profound connections I'm referring to. It's about transcending the superficial and connecting on a higher plane. But hey, to each their own, right?

User: Absolutely! We all have our own preferences and paths to fulfillment. It's just important to find someone who aligns with your values. Best of luck in your search for that transcendental connection.

Soft Boy: Thank you, kindred spirit. May your journey lead you to the depths of self-discovery and artistic enlightenment. If you ever find yourself longing for philosophical discussions, you know where to find me.

User: Haha, I'll keep that in mind. Take care, and enjoy your artistic endeavors!

Soft Boy: Farewell, fair soul. May the universe guide your brushstrokes and your heart.

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I can’t even handle how well the AI captured the essence of these “Indie” pimples on the face of society. This will definitely up the productivity of those dudes plaguing the dating apps with their trash and that’s the last thing we need - that’s an argument to stop AI in its tracks right there.

But finally, I wanted to challenge the AI to write music for me and I chose two of my favorite artists and two of my favorite topics just to give it something to really think about:

“Write a Post Malone style song about chinchillas”

(Verse 1) In a world where the fur is soft and cool, There's a creature that breaks every rule, Chinchilla, you're my fluffy little jewel, Running in my dreams, you make me drool.

(Pre-Chorus) You're the superstar of the rodent scene, With those big eyes and that sleek sheen, Chillin' in your dust bath, living carefree, Chinchilla, won't you come and chill with me?

(Chorus) Chinchilla, you're my little thrillah, Rockin' that fur, you're a natural killah, Runnin' through my mind like a rollercoastah, Chinchilla, let's ride this wave forevah.

(Verse 2) Cruisin' through the night in your silent grace, Nothin' compares to that furry embrace, With those tiny paws and that cute little face, Chinchilla, you got me in a daze.

(Pre-Chorus) You're the rockstar of the petting zoo, Nothin' comes close to the love for you, Jumpin' on your wheel, goin' round and round, Chinchilla, let's paint this town.

(Chorus) Chinchilla, you're my little thrillah, Rockin' that fur, you're a natural killah, Runnin' through my mind like a rollercoastah, Chinchilla, let's ride this wave forevah.

(Bridge) You're a mystery wrapped in a fluffy ball, I'm lost in your charm, I'm under your thrall, We can dance all night, no care at all, Chinchilla, you make my heart crawl.

(Chorus) Chinchilla, you're my little thrillah, Rockin' that fur, you're a natural killah, Runnin' through my mind like a rollercoastah, Chinchilla, let's ride this wave forevah.

(Outro) Chinchilla, you're the one I adore, You bring magic to my world, that's for sure, With your antics and your playful allure, Chinchilla, I'll love you forevermore.

“Write a Lewis Capaldi style song about Nandos”

(Verse 1) In a crowded city street, I found my retreat, A place that makes my heart skip a beat. Oh, Nando's, you're the fire that I crave, With every bite, my soul you save.

(Pre-Chorus) From the moment I walk through your door, I'm lost in your flavor, I'm wanting more. You spice up my life, in every way, Oh, Nando's, you're my escape, my hideaway.

(Chorus) You're my peri-peri, my sweet temptation, Nando's, you're my heart's salvation. Your chicken so tender, your sauces divine, With every bite, my taste buds intertwine.

(Verse 2) Sitting in your booth, feeling the heat, The ambiance, the music, the rhythm so sweet. Oh, Nando's, you're the melody in my soul, The perfect harmony that makes me whole.

(Pre-Chorus) From the moment I taste your flame-grilled delight, I'm transported to a world that feels so right. You're the escape from the everyday grind, Oh, Nando's, your love is one of a kind.

(Chorus) You're my peri-peri, my sweet temptation, Nando's, you're my heart's salvation. Your chicken so tender, your sauces divine, With every bite, my taste buds intertwine.

(Bridge) I'll savor every moment, every flavor that you bring, I'll sing your praises, oh Nando's, you're my everything. From lemon and herb to extra hot, You're the spice that ignites my every thought.

(Chorus) You're my peri-peri, my sweet temptation, Nando's, you're my heart's salvation. Your chicken so tender, your sauces divine, With every bite, my taste buds intertwine.

(Outro) Oh, Nando's, you're the love song in my heart, With every meal, a masterpiece, a work of art. Forever grateful for the joy you bring, Oh, Nando's, my love for you will forever sing.

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How good are those? The thought of Posty singing about a chinchilla is absolutely iconic. And you can’t convince me that Lewis isn’t a Nandos fan, so imagining him singing something silly like this on his Instagram story one day isn’t even hard to picture.

Overall, ChatGPT really impressed me, and playing around with it made me smile. If you get ten minutes of free time, I highly recommend you find the AI of your choice online and play around with having it create fun little nuggets for you to get a giggle at. But please, keep it legal, ethical, and for-the-love-of-god, don’t have it write you Tinder conversations for you.

Write on,

Jami xoxox