I have a lot of issues with a lot of things. Pretty much everything irritates me on some level.

As you might have guessed, I’m not much of a people person because of this. Once, at university, I was challenged to make a list of all my pet peeves and read them aloud to a group. I filled a page and then some; people were getting bored listening to them by the end.

Because I am an unwavering pessimist, I can find the annoying in any given situation. And because I know my negativity can oftentimes bring other people entertainment and joy, I thought, for you all, I’d recreate my list of my biggest pet peeves and grade them on a scale with emojis of how much I can’t tolerate them without wanting to pull my hair out. Here’s the scale:

Mildly Annoyed 😒 – I can put up with it for the time being.

Moderately Irritated 😑 – I might draw attention to my feelings of irritation or make casual mention of the issue to people around me.

Eye Rolling 🙄 – I’m about to lose my shit any second now.

I can’t 🤬 – yeah, no, this is not going to be a thing. Stop it. Stop or feel the full force of my wrath.

Now that we’ve established my annoyance scale, let’s jump right into it. Here’s a list of 52 things that I find so annoying they landed a place on the top of my pet peeves list.

People shuffling their feet when they walk - 😑
Slow walkers in public (GTFO) - 🤬🤬
Being woken up from a nap or in the morning (let me sleep, damn it) - 🤬
When people don’t flush public toilets or leave messes in the stall or on the seat - 🙄
People who sit right next to you in public when there are other seats available - 😑
When people spit in parking lots or on the sidewalk - 🤬
When someone constantly steps on the back of your heels when you’re walking - 🙄
When girls scream in public when seeing their best friend after time apart - 🤬
Annoying laughs (STFU) - 🤬
People who misquote movies and TV shows (if you can’t get the quote right, don’t try) - 🙄
When people sing (under any circumstance) - 🤬🤬
People who overuse “um,” “like,” “right,” and any other word or phrase - 😒
When someone doesn’t text me back within a reasonable time (especially if they have read receipts on) - 🙄
Sniffling (just no) - 🙄
When someone writes on a board and erases it, but leaves a little bit still on the board (erase all of it, damn it) - 😑
People who are always late or constantly make you wait for them - 🤬
When a restaurant serves lousy coffee (it’s pretty hard to mess up) - 😑
When my shoes or socks get wet because of snow or rain or hidden puddles (and then I suffer all day because they’re wet) - 😑
Passive aggressive conversations and behavior - 🙄
When people try to show me pictures or videos that don’t interest me - 😒
Mispronunciation of words - 😒
Shopping carts with a broken wheel - 🙄
Bad drivers who tailgate, don’t use signals, and use their phone while driving - 😑
When I find someone’s gum under a table or chair - 🤬
Being tickled - 🤬
Pants on men that are too short - 😑
When someone turns up the music when you’re talking - 🤬
Wobbly table legs - 😒
People who eat stinky food in public - 🙄
People who clip their nails at their desk at work (yes, this actually happens) - 😒
Line cutters (be like the British and learn how to queue) - 🙄
When people misspell my name after the first time writing it - 😑
Mis-pluralized names (not every time a name is plural should it have ‘s at the end, FYI) - 😑
When someone apologizes by saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” - 🤬
Nail biters - 😒
The word “moist” (yes, I’m on of those people) - 😒
When someone uses perfumes, lotions, candles, or air fresheners that stink because they think they smell great (stop poisoning the air with your cheap stench, please) - 🙄
Tourists (even though I often am one) - 😑
Crying or screaming babies or children (make your heathens behave, people) - 🙄
When people scrape their fork and knife on their plate - 🤬
When there is no toilet paper in the bathroom stall - 😒
Paying for shipping (that shit should always be free) - 😒
Being laughed at (just generally sucks, in my opinion) - 😑
People who claim babies and dogs are cute when they clearly aren’t (get your eyes checked, friends) - 😒
Getting invited to things purely out of necessity or sympathy (you can always tell) - 🤬
The smell of hand sanitizer (keep it away from me) - 🙄
When I look in someone’s ear and notice they don’t clean them (gross) - 😒
One-uppers, know-it-alls, and braggers (no one’s impressed, trust me) - 😑
Having to move from my spot when I’m comfortable, or really having moving at all (I’m eternally lazy AF) - 🙄
Snoring and loud breathers (STFU) - 🙄
Un-aesthetically pleasing looking food (who wants to eat ugly food) - 😒
And currently relevant: when Christmas music and decorations come out BEFORE thanksgiving - 🤬🤬