Hiya friends,

I hope you’re all getting in the festive spirit right about now. I know that if I weren’t such a Scrooge, I would be.

I’ve been in quite the pensive mood lately; I won’t lie. My mind just won’t shut up - I guess that’s why I’m here. This little corner of the internet has always been my space to talk to me, and anyone else who cares listen, about my internal goings-on and this post is no different.

Before I get too deep into it all, it’s important to catch everyone up on where I’m at. James and I are still living quite happily together in Central Mass and we both found fantastic new jobs that have been keeping us both very busy. We have two incomes now, which has, without exaggeration, changed our lives. We even managed, thanks to the amazing help of my parents, to get my car fixed and back up to speed (pun intended). We’re both healthy, happy, and - for the most part - thriving.

So with all of this good in my life, you might be wondering what’s brought on the title of this post? Such a negative-sounding title for such a positive update might not immediately make sense, but let me explain:

While I won’t even begin to argue that James and I are miles better off than when he was abroad, or even than when he first moved here and we were living a totally different life, it would be a lie to say that things have gotten any “easier” for us overall.

James has been saying since day dot that “easy” has always been his goal - with us and his life. But even though things have worked out swimmingly for us both in the last few months, I have noticed both of us still complaining from time to time about bills and budgeting, about navigating illnesses, taking our car into the shop and our pet to the vet - and all while working full-time, in office, with long commutes, early mornings, and jam-packed weekends.

When I was a child, all I can ever remember wanting - like many others might have wanted back then - was to “grow up”. Every stage of my life kept me desiring to be older and more settled. I have always lived under the illusion that at some arbitrary point in my life, things would just “get easier” because I’d have money, or because I could make my own decisions. But I’m here to, reluctantly, break it to myself, James, and anyone else in the same boat as us, that that just isn’t reality. The ease of having adult money comes with the complications of paying bills. The ease of having a “big girl job” comes with the complication of limited vacation time. The ease of having autonomy over your life comes with the complication of trying to decide if you should save for a new car or take that vacation you’ve been waiting years to take.

Traffic, illnesses, taxes, unexpected bills, scheduling conflicts, cancelled social events, and a generalized feeling of never quite being where you think you’re supposed to be - not having enough money, or being far enough in your career, or not having a home or children soon enough - these things will always make your life hard. You go from being constantly annoyed at your parents for nagging you to do your chores and eat your vegetables to having to nag yourself to do the same things and missing their voice because they live miles away.

It’s all about perspective.

If an easy life is what you’re aiming for, you need to change your goal or you’re going to constantly be disappointed and chasing a fallacy that will never be.

And while I agree that focusing on the positive and being grateful for your successes and your fortunes will somewhat ease these feelings, that isn’t the only key mindset switch to strive for.

Embrace the hard.

Every day that things are hard, you get stronger. Every day that challenges you, you grow and mature and get closer and closer to your ultimate final-form version of yourself. Expect daily challenges both big and small and know you are going to overcome them with the same flair that you have every other one up to this point. Every day, from this point on, you will trade one challenge for another - some less taxing than others, but it will ebb and flow like the tide of your life.

I post this at this risk of sounding too much like one of those quasi-motivational speakers that no one cares to listen to, but I say this as a reminder to myself as much as to anyone else.

My mom has always said that life’s one big game that you just need to learn how to play, which leads me to believe that the years of my life are just levels I need to complete to keep moving forward - each one filled with tasks and villains alike. And if life really is one big game, maybe an easy version doesn’t exist because you’d complete it too quickly - and no one wants that.

Food for thought.

Write on,

Jami