Espresso Myself

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A Letter to Dreamers: Forget the Road Less Traveled and Blaze Your Own Path.

Four years ago, I was beginning to make decisions that would change my life forever. Four years ago, today seemed like an eternity away. Four years ago, I had wide eyes and ambitions as great as the day is long. Four years ago, was my senior year in high school.

It's not that I would consider myself old and wise at the rightful age of 22, but it would be safe to assume that I'm further in that direction than 18-year-old me was. It's always easier to see things in hindsight, so here's a note from someone seeing things clearly.

Sometimes high school can be a vortex that you can't see your way out of. It can be impossible to understand that the world is so much greater than what it seems within the confines of those walls. But for those who can see the bigger picture, the possibilities truly are endless. When you're very young, you feel like you can do anything - every child dreams of being an astronaut or a princess when they grow up and there's no reason why that should have to change in secondary education. Nothing can stop you from achieving your teenage dreams except yourself, unless you let it.

The harsh reality of being young and ambitious is that it's hard enough to make big plans for the future when you're still a child, but when you're met with opposition from the adults around you, it can be made infinitely more difficult. This post goes out to the grown-ups who find themselves discouraging and tearing down the dream clouds of the younger generation and also to the young'ns they're talking to.

To the teachers and mentors who tell their students that they might as well give up because they'll never get out of their home town, or they'll never amount to anything more than a statistic: you should just walk away from your jobs right now, we probably won't miss you anyway. I can't help but ask, why did you even take this job in the first place? There are few things more disgraceful than to see an educator stifling their students' ambitions.

When I was 17, I began my college applications with the goal of studying music (therapy or business or choir directing, I didn't yet know the specifics). I had successfully competed for many years in vocal music competitions and I had been singing in choirs and on my own since I was a toddler. I honestly believed that music was my passion, and then someone told me that passion wasn't enough. Just about the time applications were due, my long-term musical mentor said to me "you will never make it in music school; I just don't think you have what it takes." Nothing breaks your heart like watching your dreams shatter before you.

To that woman and the many out there like her: you will never know the damage you cause to a young person when make cold, harsh statements like that one. I could have been the next great choral director of the 21st century, but because I trusted you to be honest and have my best interest at heart, because I listened to your "advice," the world - and more importantly I - will never know.

I know it must be hard not thinking to yourself that I didn't have to listen to her, or I should have just gone after my dream anyways, but that's so much easier said than done. Children are impressionable - that should go without saying. People with power or knowledge - even if those are only implicit - have a responsibility to keep their mouths shut if they can't say something encouraging, at least in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that everything happens the way it does for a reason and I'm happy where I ended up in the end, but I have no idea where I would be right now if I hadn't been told to give up before I had even started.

And just to be clear, teachers aren't the only offenders of this. I hear around campus - on a more than regular basis - about parents who believe that because they are paying for their child's education (or even sometimes if they aren't) they have a claim over deciding what their student gets to study. This really winds me up. I'd like to say that I'm not trying to tell parents how to do their jobs, but I guess I kind of am. Just like educators, you're supposed to encourage young people to take risks and learn new things; and no matter what choices they make, you are supposed to support your children! That shouldn't be too much to ask; it's practically page 1 of the "How to Be a Parent Handbook" - which some parents might need to re-read, since we're being honest. Parents who meddle and intentionally get in the way of their child's future aggravate me to no end. Stop treating your children like marionettes and cut their damn strings already.

At no age should someone stop dreaming they can change the world, but if they do stop believing in their dreams, it should be by their own accord. Guidance councilors should always encourage students to apply to college or go after their dream job. Parents should never tell their children how far away they can move or what industries they are allowed to work in. Teenagers should spend their young years chasing their wildest ideas because very few people can become president or graduate from Harvard if the people they trust and respect tell them to aim lower.

Take it from a person who's been there: more often than not, if your dreams get crushed, they don't come back to life. And to the young people reading: we young people only have a few years of pure motivation and ambition to set goals and aim high. We can't afford to waste our good years settling because someone else veered us off our 5-year path. As hard as it can be to hear sometimes, and as cliché as it might sound: don't listen to the nay-sayers out there.

Our world would be a better place if we spent more time boosting each other up rather than tearing everyone down. A little positivity and encouragement goes a very long way in all situations, but especially for children and young adults who find themselves at a cross-roads in life. I'm not asking for acceptance of all the silly ideas today's youth come up with. But when given the opportunity, tell all the dreamers you know to forget the road less traveled and have them blaze their own path. Who knows, that path might lead them to the moon, the white house, the ivy league, or even to music school, and they deserve to find out.

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